hmmm?

2010-05-30T23:23:00.000-07:00

hihi.i am definitely not in the best state now. but i realised, i always think and dwell into my life when its near the exams.odd much.just what do i want in my life? would be the question i want to ask myself. who do i want to see myself as in 10 years down the road? will i be who i am today? i hope not. theres no "why do i want to change?" its all, who and what i want to be. i will destroy myself and change, you will see me again, i will be different, i will be who i want to be. yes, suicidal thoughts, too bad they're for the weak.

2010-03-22T08:04:00.000-07:00

school sucks cock, i hate school. true story. anyway to whoever is reading my blog have fun cause i know i got nothing to write about so i write random stuff. did you know that nothing rhymes with orange and purple and silver? awesome! rawrrrr. dragon! attack!

2010-03-20T11:23:00.000-07:00

hey. bought a new shirt ----> (wait for it) LEGENDARY!
looking for my leather shoesssss
and my leather belt
cally is sally but not smelly.
had freeze frame high-5s today
OH THE DAMN COOL ASTROLOGICAL LASER POINTER THAT CAN POINT IN THE SKY

SEE I'M DOING THIS ALL FOR CALLY HOW NICE RIGHT :D

2010-03-17T06:15:00.000-07:00

What up. My friends are racist, so am i. They call me a nigger. WTF!?! yup thats right im a nigger to them ahahahha. WORST OF ALL THEY CALL ME A BUDDHIST NIGGER(just because i don't go church)most ironic part is that they don't even go church at all. but i'm cool with it.

so its holidays now and i spend most of my time playing dota, watching how i met your mother and other shows. hanging out with those i haven't been seeing much lately. too bad march holidays are short and term 2 = overkill. been a long time since i updated, so current goals in my life are:
1. own in studies
2. chill with my friends, more.
3. go get taaaaaaaaaank!

have to say i got closer to my previous goals, which is nice but still faroff. life's a journey lets embrace it, live for the moment cause i miss being young.we can never go back to who we were yesterday, sure the kiddy days were fun man, no worries and all i could think of was to have fun and enjoy.

cya soon man, will come back soon, and yeaeh this blog is dedicated to Cally since no one else reads it except me (:

a call for help.

2009-06-10T02:29:00.000-07:00

inspiration and motivation.

What make you think everything is this world that you have can be taken away?
In a world this day, it's kill or be killed. I live each day like it might be my last.
In this lifetime few things are worth fighting for. My Blood, Your Honor. Everyone has a destiny.
I'll choose my own! I will not be a victim.
I'll choose my own! My cries won't go unheard
I'll choose my own! I've got to fight for myself
I'll choose my own! And what I hold so true. Destiny!
I'll choose my own destiny and I'll never let anyone take away what I hold so true.
I won't live in denial. And I won't turn the other cheek.
I must remain convicted and never accept this suffering.
I've learned from my mistakes and I've made a promise to myself.
I won't live in the past... I won't live in the past!
I've been affected by your lies and I've let that hold me back.
I wasn't thinking for myself. I wasn't living for myself.
I will not be a victim.
I'll choose my own! My cries won't go unheard
I'll choose my own! I've got to fight for myself
I'll choose my own! And what I hold so true.
What I have in my heart...
What I have in my heart, I'll take to my grave... I'll take to my grave

My goals

2009-05-18T06:09:00.000-07:00

Long term Goals:

1.Be a happy person
2.Study Philosophy &Science (particularly physics and chem. But chem. First :D ) & Math (also be a smart person. Knowledge is priority!)

3.Be good at socialising. (Ability to make others smile and laugh and drawn towards me targeting at girls for this one)
4.Make sure I work for these goals in a long term aspect.

Short term goals:

1.Get decent grades in school.
2.Raise self confidence. ( partly charisma, wit and getting buff )
3.Be good at socialising with my close friends first.

2009-05-14T07:57:00.000-07:00

Okay, hello blog its been awhile. So, i decided to write some shit because of my counselor. Sounds odd eh? Counseling. Ahhhh. First few key questions you might ask me. "Does counseling really help?" Yeah it does if you believe in it. But why would i believe in counseling if I'm so doubtful of everything even my life. I don't even know the answer, maybe its because i still believe in myself? I believe in self-improvement even though perfection is pure impossibility?

Basically i want to talk about Life in general. Life , what does it mean to people? Everyone has their own definition of it. But it has reached a point where definition makes no sense, there's no right answer. How would you feel if you realised that after doing an examination and there's no correct answer to the questions? Seems like a waste of time right! Thats life. There is no right answer except 42. But what's 42!?! I don't know! There's no answer to life, no way of reaching perfection. Humans we are doomed, we can never perfect anything. Why is yellow called yellow? Why can't green be fat? Why do you fight so hard for your life? What is it that keeps you holding on. Of course if we look at life by embracing the moments, your future would be risked. You have to make a choice without a guidebook however for dota you can always visit www.dotaportal.com . The choice is ultimately yours and if you don't choose you're fucked too cause sitting on the fence will hurt your balls. There's no right or wrong answer, no guide but just 42. I'm sure most of the people would want the correct answer to life.

Something you will never know.

2009-01-08T09:28:00.000-08:00

What?! Thought you knew all about me? WRONG ! Okay. Remember, this blog has got nothing to do with venting my anger / etc. That's quite abusive i would say. Let's introduce three main people in my life. Chen, Jon, Elliot. Sorry about the counting error. Its actually 121+2 = 123 people. Let me explain that i owe my life to these 123 people. Have you ever came across anyone who wouldn't give up on you? Of course no one gives up on you verbally! I here have met these 123 who have never given up on me in terms of actions. Probability of meeting these 123 people? I'd say 1/239489013859203849028340923482094 . We've cried,laughed,played and had fun with each other. We've got each other through the fire and the flames. I'd love to thank you guys. Without you all i probably wouldn't be the same Jasper you know. Not even sure Jasper would existed any longer. What was once of a gamer who had never seen daylight has now started to enjoyed this game called "Life". Sounds fun eh? So once again THANKS1 I LOVE YOU ALL I'M NOT GAY THOUGH. If there's only one thing i can ask for, it'll always be my friends. Because they never die in your head.

lets just say i'm shy.

2009-01-07T09:11:00.001-08:00

Hello all! its Jasper here. Not really my first time blogging but. . . my friend CHEN has inspired me to blog! WHY? Okay here's why. Pretty ironic anyways, as those who know me well are very sure i hate blogging because its kinda an intrusion of privacy for me and i dislike writing stuff. To cut things short. I was amazed that Chen could blog so well ( pretty odd ) but yeah its difficult to express yourself . NOW NOW NOW there's such thing as blogging ( i know its old but yup) made me realise that i can try and express myself because everyone knows i don't involve my feelings much. SO i thank you Chen because your blog has inspired me! YEAH! So this will be me trying to talk about feelings here maybe it'll be easier for me . hehehehe :D well hope so!